Attachments – Life’s Connections (part 2 of 5)

 

Foundation

(Photo credit © wittybear – Fotolia.com)

In the first of this series you learned that the basics of why attachments are significant.

  • Attachments are the necessary building blocks for our lives
  • Attachments are the foundation for emotional and mental well-being
  • Attachments are foundational to interpersonal interaction

How you grow and mature is based on the quality of your bonds.  Without an attachment foundation built on consistent, healthy interaction, your emotional well-being and mental health will suffer.

According to Dr. Daniel Siegel, for the infant and young child, attachment relationships are the major environmental factors that shape the development of the brain during its period of maximal growth.

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Attachments are essential in helping an infant brain develop and function. Secure bonding and attachments enable these processes to properly take place:

  • Develop relationships
  • Establish the relational circuit within the brain
  • Build an internal interpreter to tell you what things mean
  • Gain capacity to synchronize with others
  • Allow for repair of broken attachments

Bonding —

Healthy bonds and attachments establish the foundation for your relationships.  It is impossible to have healthy, meaningful relationships without mutual bonds between people.  A relationship is based on attuning and communicating with one another verbally and nonverbally in a dance of shared signals.

Bonding involves a specific sensitivity to signals between mother and child.  For the infant brain, there is a time to play and a time to rest.  Disruption of these cycles has negative consequences.

A mother’s role in bonding with her child is to synchronize with the child’s various states, depending on what the child needs at a given time.

A child who wakes up from a nap will need mom to be sensitive to his/her mental state and energy level.  A healthy mother will be quiet, gentle, and soothing in her voice, until baby has lightened up the senses and is ready to play.

The mother who is not sensitive to the child’s condition may overwhelm and upset the child by reflecting her condition uponthe child.

Insecure Attachment

When mom fails to recognize her child’s attachment light is on, the child experiences rejection.  This misalignment creates immense distress in the child.  Subsequently, this awful experience, a “death” feeling, will be avoided.  Sadly, the “death” state corresponds with “rest states”, so the child avoids rest.

 

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 The insecure attachment feeling will haunt the child until the individual is healthy and secure enough to work through attachment pain years later.  In the meantime, attachment pain goes unchecked and anything that resembles rest is avoided.  Agonizing attachment pain is often covered up (think addictions), medicated, and disregarded as much as possible—(“ignore it and it will go away” or “run to keep ahead of pain”).

The mother who desynchronizes with her child produces serious damage to her child’s attachment circuit.

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Insecure attachments form when parents and children fail to synchronize.  Insecure attachments are associated with a higher incidence of psychiatric disorders, including anxiety and mood disorders. [2]

Secure Attachment

Anna Hill 5

A secure attachment forms through plenty of synchronized interaction between mother and child.  This strong bond grows when mom responds to her child’s signals in timely fashion.  Mom synchronizes with the child, builds joy, and provides rest at the appropriate times.  Mom downloads her brain structure and mental state as well as enhances baby’s emotional regulation ability through shared attunement. Shared attunement is the alignment of states of mind between mother and child.  Attunement is expressed through facial expressions, tone of voice, body gestures, and eye contact. [3]

Joy Building — Joy is produced when mom’s face lights up, expressing I am delighted to be with you!  Joyful exchanges establish a secure bond with baby that will travel a lifetime.  As the child reaches full capacity of joy, she will look away, or gaze avert.  Breaking eye contact stops right hemispheric communication and says, ‘let’s rest!’

Healthy mothering understands this need for rest, and will respect the need.  Unhealthy mothering results when mom fails to recognize her child’s need for rest and continues pushing her state onto the baby.  This happens if mother feels rejected by baby’s action so she pushes even harder to keep baby’s attention.  The continued pushing overwhelms baby’s attachment circuits and can lead to dissociation at worst, or a painful disconnection at the least.  Mom’s capacity surpasses that of her infant.  Trying to compete with mom’s high energy levels only creates overwhelm and an internal crisis.

Secure bonds provide an infant with a solid foundation to build joy and experience intense emotions.  Both are important for the infant to practice.  A secure bond with mom provides needed strength and safety to experience bonds with others.

As the child grows older, dad becomes a prime candidate for the baby to synchronize with.  Dad helps expand the child’s capacity to synchronize with others beside mom.  However, in the beginning mom is essential to provide a foundation and framework the child requires throughout life.

Shared attunement develops a secure foundation for interpersonal relationships and emotional health.

Synchronizing builds strong bonds, a house that can withstand life’s storms and turbulence.

We know that it is possible to fill in the gaps that happen to us as we acquire these essential relational brain skills. If you feel yourself resonating with some of this and sense that there is more to to life and relationships than you have experienced; if you want to explore this area of attachment, you can learn the skills of quieting inner fear and panic in Track One of Thrive Training.

Thrive Training Reminder…

Feb. 23-27, in Austin, Texas

July 26-31, 2015 in Grand Rapids, Michigan 

Registration Information here.

 May your joy be full,

Chris & Carol

Chris Coursey, MA Theology – Author, Speaker and Thrive Trainer,  www.thrivetoday.org

Twitter – @coursey_chris

Carol A. Brown, Author of The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity and Highly Sensitive         www.fromgodsheart.com

Carol’s email – godsheart@comcast.net

[1] Developing Mind, pg. 85

[2] Developing Mind, pg 86

[3] Developing Mind, Daniel Siegel, p 85, 86, 88.

 

 

Joyful Christians, Joyful Churches–Transformed World

How do we get there?

Phase 1Joy Starts Here – A 9 week program

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This is the beginning. It helps you understand the need for joy. Our brains work best in an environment of joy. Joy Starts Here is the beginning of where hard science and the hard truth meet in a non-threatening way. You will like the results! There is a bible study on each chapter’s topic to put it in a biblical perspective, an assessment of your joy in that area and exercises to build joy.

  • Individual study
  • Informal group study (2-3 friends)
  • Adult education classes at church

 

Joy building exercises will give you a taste of what is possible. They develop the right hemisphere of the brain, which does not happen when you simply read about it. It is like building muscle—you have to go to the gym and practice. You cannot build muscle by reading about it. The same is true for relational skills. By the time you finish the book you will know your next step. Purchase here.

To take a free joy assessment, go to: http://joyq.joystartshere.com/account/welcome.php

Phase 2Connexus classes

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Excellent material for  developing resiliency and life skills.

Restarting and Forming (2 -12 week courses) run simultaneously. Facilitator led, DVDs and exercises in class and at home. This is for a larger group than the Joy Starts Here group but is done locally. 2 -12 week courses

Restarting is for those who realize they are low on joy and high on “pseudo-joy” (something that creates the similar brain chemistry as joyful relationships. They have cravings or addictions. They want to acquire or repair relational brain skills that were either missed or somehow damaged by the bumps and scrapes of life.

Forming is for those who were fortunate and have most of the brain skills. They are more interested in seeking more intimacy with God and being formed to be more like Jesus.

Belonging (12 weeks) is a class that combines people from Restarting and Forming. Here the two groups learn how to create belonging and build a thriving relational and joyful community. It breaks down the we/them that often happens when the “weak and strong interact” and creates belonging around you.

Phase 3 – Thrive Training 

Off site, Thrive Training is a large group and can be taken at any time but there are prerequisites. This is a three-week training taken one week at a time. It is a concentrated opportunity to learn the 19 relational brain skills in the ideal environment. Then you go home and practice for a year or 6 months. Then come back for another week and go home and practice for a year to 6 months, and again for the third week.

For more information about these three tracks click here:

Information on prerequisites click here: 

Everything at Thrive is geared to growing joy. It is actually the foundation that the other two pieces are built upon. When a church uses Connexus materials it is wise to make sure that 2-3 couples attend the Thrive Training. Bonded pairs attend Thrive. Parent/child is a bonded pair, also siblings or prayer partners.

THRIVE TRAINING FOR 2015

Feb. 23-27, in Austin, Texas

July 26-31, 2015 in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Costs: 

Track 1
Bonded Pair: $1,375
Bonded Pair, DVDs & online course: $1,595
Individual:$750
Track 2
Bonded Pair: $1,300
Bonded Pair, DVDs & online course: $1,550
Individual: $750
Track 3
Bonded Pair: $1,300
Bonded Pair, DVDs & online course: $1,550
Individual: $750

*Bring a new bonded pair to Thrive and receive a $75 discount off your registration price!

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Look forward to seeing you in person at Thrive!  Blessings,

Chris & Carol

Chris Coursey, MA Theology – Author, Speaker and Thrive Trainer,  www.thrivetoday.org

Twitter – @coursey_chris

Carol A. Brown, Author of The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity and Highly Sensitive         www.fromgodsheart.com

Carol’s email – godsheart@comcast.net

P. S. How did you grow joy in your community? We would love to hear from you.

5 Reasons For Pastors to Grow Joy!

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Have you wondered if taking the time to learn how to grow joy would benefit you as a pastor? Here are five ways it does!

It Clarifies Communications, Improves Your Marriage, Repairs Ruptured Relationships, Restores Energy, and You Become a Model.

 1. Growing joy clarifies communication. When you learn how to share joyful times with friends, staff members and family, a bond develops between you; your brains learn to synch with each other. It is like growing a relational synapse over which messages can travel—much like a telephone line.

Sharing joy moments exercises your “empathy muscles” so that you “know” each other better and are less likely to impute motivations that are not there or make erroneous assumptions about intentions. Joy also creates an ease between people that makes it easier and less costly to ask clarifying questions. There is no longer the fear of rejection, name calling or judgment for not understanding in the first go round.

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How would you grow joy that improves communication? An easy and fun way is to tell glory stories—stories that clearly demonstrate God’s fingerprint in your day. This is also an excellent exercise for the family at dinner time! It changes the dinner time atmosphere. You can find directions for telling 4+ stories on the Thrive website see below.

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2. Growing joy improves your marriage. Joy is a very good feeling; in fact your brain is designed to run on joy so you intuitively seek it. It is much healthier for your brain to run on true joy then to substitute BEEPS or pseudo-joy. Pseudo-joy is like putting regular into the gas tank of a car designed to run on high octane. The real thing is always better than the substitute, right?

Experiencing true joy moments together strengthens the marriage bond and makes it more fulfilling. This is the testimony of Jen and Chris Coursey as they tested various strategies for growing joy in the midst of the hectic life of raising two active boys and developing a ministry. You can get the manual they developed below. These exercises work! Learning and using these joy building exercises will also make your marriage even more attractive to your people. They will want what you have.

 3. Growing joy can repair ruptured relationships.

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Really? How would you do that? Very carefully. You could begin by some simple acts of appreciation…a “thank you,” “that was very thoughtful.” Or, “I appreciate ___________.” Or, it could be biting your tongue to prevent a smart retort that adds nothing positive to the mix. Then as communication is slowly restored, expand the topics you talk about, keeping the Lord central in it all.

Growing joy in ruptured relationships is like growing moss on the north side of the house. Keep it sheltered from “hot topics.” Start slowly and don’t stir things up by periodically checking on the root system by asking “How am I doing?” It starts to slowly form along the edges and then it takes over. It is a beautiful thing to see joy take over a ruptured relationship. Now, moss on the north side of the house is something else, but to grow it requires shelter from the heat!

 4. Growing joy develops strength, energy and resiliency. If you have been exhausted physically, spiritually and mentally, growing joy will fill your tank again. That scripture “the joy of the Lord is my strength” is not just a nice metaphor. It is reality!

 5. Bonus Reason: You become a joy starter, a model as others want what you have. You can spark little joy outbreaks which can become a flame within your congregation! If you would like to see one or more of these effects of growing joy in your life personally…

1. Download the directions for telling 4+ Stories (Glory Stories)       click here. 

Four Plus

2.And the joy building exercises for married couples click here

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3. The Joy Starts Here small group study book to help create the joy outbreak in your church, click here

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And then get back to us and let us know what is working for you!

 May your joy be full,

 Chris & Carol,

Chris Coursey, MA Theology — Author, Speaker and Thrive Trainer, www.thrivetoday.org 

Twitter – @coursey_chris

Carol Brown, Author of The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity and Highly Sensitive                            www.fromgodsheart.com 

 

Can You Recognize Overwhelm…before it happens?

AAaaagh! Stop! Just. stop.

Have you been there? Of course you have; me too. That moment when you are overwhelmed with…whatever overwhelms you. For me, Carol, sensory input can sneak up on me. I become so engage in what is being said that I can overload sometimes before I am aware it is approaching. When overwhelm occurs I tend to be less gracious. If I’m honest, I’d have to say that I can be downright cutting—that’s not my heart value. I do not value ripping someone up; I’d much rather be helpful.

The only way Chris or I have found to stay in a loving, relational spot is to recognize the cues that we are approaching overwhelmed and disengage. This one is especially sneaky for me. My husband and I can be enjoying an animated conversation when I suddenly realize that I understood each individual word he said but when they were put together into the sentence he just made I had no idea what he was talking about. That is my overwhelmed signal. I have to say something right then before I throw a relational circuit breaker.

Maybe it was too many words. Maybe I was physically tired. Maybe my spirit was busy picking up pain around us…or the Lord had called me to intercession and my mind missed the call but my spirit didn’t. It was busy interceding while my mind was trying to listen to my husband—aaagh! Too much! Overload! And I throw that relational circuit breaker.

The overwhelmed feeling could be caused by any combination of things but the important thing is to recognize it BEFORE the relational circuit is blown. At this point you use relational brain skill #9 and take a breather—a time out. The lack of comprehension  is my cue to disengage.

When you have had time to catch your breath and the “go away” signals have subsided then it is time to activate skill #15 and practice being quietly interactive. Given the breather, the mental stimulation subsides and I can re-engage at a lower intensity and comprehend once again.

As parents you do this intuitively with your children. When their signals of approaching overwhelm were ignored or not recognized, they throw a tantrum to bring it to your attention. You know talking is not going to help; their thinking brain is offline! You wait, and as emotion subsides you can cuddle; praying silently you gently rock and begin to talk. They can hear you now—this is being quietly interactive.

You learn these and other skills at Thrive Training. You will learn not only your own overwhelm cues, but those of your bonded partner. You will learn the ways in which you overwhelm others and what to do to back down the intensity, the emotional, mental and spiritual stimulation without throwing that relational circuit breaker.

They call this “training” for a special reason. When you learn you pack facts and concepts into your head. Sometimes those facts find their way to your heart and influence your actions. But training is practice and practice to develop reflexes that you don’t have to think about. For a pianist or a runner it is called developing muscle memory. Reflexes are those automatic knee jerk reactions. You can train your brain to respond to little cues that can be easily missed.

Imagine how helpful it would be in your marriage and family as well as your ministry to know when you or others are approaching the “blow mark!” The rewards of training in the ability to recognize the cues are joy in relationship and effective leadership in ministry. If you would like to learn all 19 relational brain skills or fill in the ones you’ve missed and transform you life, marriage, family and ministry come to Thrive Training.

2014 US THRIVE
5-day Training (Tracks I-III)

Date: July 14th – 18th, 2014                                                     Date: March 24th – 28th, 2014
Location:
Holiday Inn, East Peoria, IL. USA
Registration: Is now open!
Click here to register.                      Find Out More

Hope to see you there!

Chris & Carol,

Chris Coursey, MA Theology — Author, Speaker and Thrive Trainer, www.thrivetoday.org

Twitter – @coursey_chris

Carol Brown, Author of The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity and Highly Sensitive                            www.fromgodsheart.com

 

Identify Heart Values From Suffering? Um…how’s that?

Chris and I have run a couple blogs about the upcoming Thrive Conference March 24-28. But that was general information for registration for those who knew they wanted to attend. Now I want to share with you a specific skill you will learn when you attend Track 1 – The track for learning to “Quiet and Rest.” If you recall Anna Hill’s testimony, the skill of quieting was transformational for her and her family. Being able to identify heart values by looking at what causes you pain, relational brain skill #6, is equally transformational.

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Skill 6 is about learning to identify your heart values from your main pain—your suffering. You can tell a lot about a person’s values by what hurts them. Your “main pain” points to the main characteristic of your heart. This is something the Lord placed in you; it is part of your design.

Since this is February, the “love” month, this would be an excellent heart conversation to have with your spouse or BFF. Be intentional about understanding each other’s heart values. It may shed light on mystifying behaviors and motivations! Just clear the schedule so you have uninterrupted time and see what God reveals.

Everyone has issues that particularly hurt or bother you and always have been the way you are likely to be hurt. Looking at these lifelong issues helps identify the core values for your unique identity. You hurt more the more deeply you care. Because of how much pain your deepest values have caused, most people see these characteristics as liabilities not treasures.

  • Write down the pain that seems to consistently show up in your relationships. Chris’s example:
    • I frequently feel let down by others.
    • I seem to work harder in my relationships than other people.
  • What does this pain say about you? What qualities did God place in you that are expressed in this type of pain?

Carol’s example:

Betrayal by a trusted friend is devastating to me. Consequently, I am slow to trust. I want to know you are not going to turn on me later. I try to avoid betrayal so I can appear to be distrustful or suspicious. Once I learn I can trust you, you have a loyal friend who will go through thick and thin with you. Trust and loyalty are very high values to me and that is why betrayal of trust cuts me so deeply and takes so long to recover from.

Another characteristic that God placed in me is high sensitivity. My central nervous system picks up more sensory data than most, which means I can be easily overwhelmed…by lights, sounds, activity, temperature, people, pain…easily overwhelmed. And it can be physically painful being bombarded by all of that!

That pain points to the ability to sense, know and understand what people feel. It means I am able to also sense God’s heart and how He wants to meet and help people. He designed me as an intercessor who can pray the prayers asking for what God wants to do for hurting ones.

I can hate the pain and the way I am designed; see it as a curse or thank God for the way He made me and learn how to use the gift and work with my design. Under all the pain I feel is the heart value of desiring to help those in pain. It is my heart value to help but I must learn how to help in a way that does not overwhelm others or myself.

My Heart Value clip_image004  My Main Pain

  • If God placed the heart value in you that you have identified, do you feel it is a weakness to despise, or a gift to embrace?
  • How would Jesus live with your heart values and main pain? What 2 responses come to mind about who Jesus would be under varying conditions?

FootprintsAction Step: Take these questions and have a discussion with your spouse or BFF and identify some your heart values. As my husband and I did this we found ourselves strategizing how we could support the other’s values. It also gave us insight into avoidance behaviors that caused us to question the other’s motivations. This is a very helpful little exercise. You will learn more about Skill #6 at Thrive as well as  additional skills.

If interested, Click here to register. Find Out More

May your JOY be full!

Chris & Carol,

Chris Coursey, MA Theology — Author, Speaker and Thrive Trainer, www.thrivetoday.org 

Twitter – @coursey_chris

Carol Brown, Author of The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity and Highly Sensitive                            www.fromgodsheart.com

The Difference Thrive Makes!

Chris and I have said that learning the relational brain skills can change your life. Now we want you to hear what attendees have to say about the training.

                           Changing My Generation                               Thrive Training Will Change Your Family


“I would say THRIVE has changed my ENTIRE LIFE.”

Joann

-I have never experienced a conference like this before! I not only increased my helping skills but also improved my relationships and capacity for joy. THRIVE fully nurtured my body, soul and spirit! Thank you!

First time attendee

You may think that I can teach THRIVE brain skills because I have had them all my life but the truth is just the opposite. When I attended my first THRIVE in 2002 I was on disability for my emotional instability.

Jen Coursey, THRIVE Coordinator

I found this conference life-changing. I now see explanations for my mental state and behaviors. THRIVE gave me tools to change my mind ‘patterns’ and return to joy. I met many great people.

Les

I now embrace my salvation as I never have before. I began to see the restoration of the traumas Jesus allowed in my 62 years of life would become the heart that Jesus gave me. I praise God that I’m now thriving in areas I never thought I could. I will be forever indebted for the investment you have made in my life.

William

I wanted to share with you what has happened to me since the conference. The biggest grace I’ve noticed is that I have developed a habit of quieting myself daily. Quiet has always been a struggle for me, but NO MORE! I’m very excited and grateful to the Lord for that. I look forward to the next Edmonton THRIVE conference.

Track I attendee

Changing My Generation
Brain skill training changed my life

I enjoyed the discussion (the exercises) would evoke. Afterwards you could almost feel a change in your right brain.

Track I attendee

I enjoyed learning the skills not just in my head but also in my heart.

Minister, Counselor

-THRIVE has amazing value for changing the brain especially for the amount of money it costs. I am in the business world and over the last four years I have hired a mentor for three days that cost me over $20,000 along with a business coach that costs me $2000 per month. There are tons of very expensive self-help gurus which are excellent, but their material is primarily book smart and theory. Chris and Jen take the hands-on approach to the brain, by building joy, knowing how to quiet and more for essentially 1/10 the cost of regular coaching. Where in the world can you get an all day training course for roughly $100 a day? I never heard of it until I was introduced to THRIVE.

Kelly

The exercises were hard, but very beneficial. It is so important for us all to practice synchronizing and story-telling.

THRIVE attendee

Changing My Generation
How the Life Model changed my professional life

-I am a professional counselor now for 33 years. I have trained thousands of professionals through my private practice as a consultant. However, I have never been impacted in the manner in which I was through the THRIVE Conference. It has changed my life forever.

Roger

The (brain) levels and solutions will truly benefit my approach to people…it already has.

Lay Minister

I enjoyed the opportunity to get help. I was stuck dealing with the fear that has debilitated me in the last year in a couple of pastoral crises. I needed resources. Very timely!

Pastor

I learned so much at both left and right brain levels. I met many others (colleagues) which was essential for me right now.

THRIVE attendee

I continue to see God use me through Emmanuel prayer in amazing ways. I believe He has both gifted and called me to use Emmanuel prayer and to train others to use it. (Not to mention the great benefits I have personally received).

Pastor from Kansas

I feel confident that I will be sharing THRIVE principles and experiences in my religious community, my therapy work and likely as a speaker in our affiliated churches.

Ellen

Relational brain skills really do make a difference–in your family, your church, your ministry, your community and your life. If you feel “something is missing” and you need/want “the more,” there is still time…you can register.

2014 US THRIVE
5-day Training (Tracks I-III)

Date: March 24th – 28th, 2014

Date: July 14th – 18th, 2014

Location: Holiday Inn, East Peoria, IL. USA
Registration: Is now open!
Click here to register.
Find Out
More

May your JOY be full!

Chris & Carol,

Chris Coursey, MA Theology — Author, Speaker and Thrive Trainer, www.thrivetoday.org

Twitter – @coursey_chris

Carol Brown, Author of The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity and Highly Sensitive                            www.fromgodsheart.com

More About Thrive Training

If you have been thinking about attending the Thrive

Training, there is still  time to take advantage of

early registration savings!

 

 

Dr. Jim Wilder, author and developer of THRIVE Training

will be on site duringTHRIV E this March 24-28th to lead

God’s Hour sessions and more. Here is your opportunity

to interact and experience Dr. Wilder’s dream to see relational

skills restored for families and communities around the globe.

You will learn how to:

  • Grow Joy with Ed and Martiza Khouri in Track One.
  • Return to Joy with Kitty Wilder in Track Two.
  • Apply solutions for the 5 levels of pain with Chris Coursey in                  Track Three

The early registration deadline has been

extended to February 6, 2014 

for the March 2014 THRIVE Training!

 

Chris & Jen video

Hear how THRIVE changed everything

for Chris & Jen, THRIVE Trainers.

THRIVE starts

some serious joy!

 

Come join us: March 24th – 28th

or July 14th – 18th

 

 

Register

  

 

 

 

 

 

3 interactive training tracks,

19 skills to change your life!

 

 “I now embrace salvation as I never have before!”

THRIVE Attendee

 

 

Can’t wait to get started?

THRIVE in 3 steps:RegisterPrepare

We can’t wait to see you there!

Chris & Jen Coursey

Chris Coursey, MA Theology — Author, Speaker and Thrive                                              Trainer, www.thrivetoday.org 

Twitter – @coursey_chris

Carol Brown, Author of The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity                                           and Highly Sensitive      www.fromgodsheart.com

 

Tongue Tied? Try The Communication Cure!

Keith DorschtIf you are not sure what to say or how to bring up difficult topics, you are not alone says Keith Dorscht, our guest on Pastor’s Weekly. He has developed a software that makes it safe and easy to talk about important issues in life.

Keith Dorscht, Creator

The Communication Cure logo

For relationships that are floundering this program gives a safe way to begin conversation. Brain science has discovered that if we can stay connected for 20 minutes, a powerful dose of oxytocin is released. Oxytocin is the bonding hormone. Bonding takes a little time: first you empathize, then you sympathize and then you are moved with compassion.

This little program offers some 30 topics and helps a couple work through them together and bond in the process. After working through all the topics they frequently are able to resolve their difficulties.

Parents who want to have a conversation with a child that is deeper and more meaningful than talk of sports and class schedules this program offers just what is needed–20 talks. It has been tested on the battlefield—a 9th grade science classroom to great effect!

The Communication Cure has been developed with the insights of the Life Model in mind as well as the stages of development and maturity. This is an excellent resource to help couples working on their marriages, parents and children, or adult children who now have children. It would also be great for teen ministries.

On The Pastor’s Weekly Keith gives his personal testimony of how the Life Model and the insights on developmental stages and maturity helped him. He also tells how he came to develop The Communication Cure. He shared that the deepest, most severe pain a person can experience is aloneness and to address that pain you need “presence” — someone with you, not words, not information…you need their presence.

Keith realized that resources need to also be experiential, to help a person connect, hence the interactive element. The human design is for connectedness and to be alone is deadly. There are many within our congregations who struggle with how to express their experiences and the deep things in their hearts and consequently, feel alone.

Resources

www.TheCommunicationCure.com is an easy to use interactive resource that simply leads you through complete conversations on relevant topics with the people that matter most to you.You can try their two most popular talks for FREE for a limited time.

Order the new 15th Anniversary Edition of The Life Model today! This new version now includes study questions at the end of each chapter as well as many other bonuses. 186 pages.

The Life Model is a unifying approach to ministries of counseling, recovery, pastoral care, prayer ministry, deliverance, inner healing, child rearing, body life and health. Substance abuse recovery programs internationally are guided by the Life Model’s five principles. Because the Life Model develops strong maturity, it is widely used as a church model, particularly where people must face suffering. Missions have adopted the Life Model for restoring hurt missionary children. Almost every major ministry dealing with trauma and abuse in the USA uses the Life Model as part of their teaching. Written by James Friesen, E James Wilder, Anne Bierling, Rick Koepcke, and Maribeth Poole.

Click here to hear Keith Dorscht’s presentation. Scroll down to the “Missed Out On a Pastor’s Weekly?” section and click on the Nov. 7 talk.

Blessings on your New Year!

Chris & Carol

Chris Coursey, MA Theology — Author, Speaker and Thrive Trainer, www.thrivetoday.org                                    Twitter – @coursey_chris

Carol Brown, Author of The Mystery of Spiritual Sensitivity and Highly Sensitive                            www.fromgodsheart.com

This blog post is based on a talk given by Keith Dorscht for Pastor’s Weekly, Nov. 7, 2013.